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Joke of the Day

"Miracle? They say Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas."

"A kid asks his Dad ""what does 'gay' mean?"" The father says ""It means 'to be happy."" The son asks ""Are you [gay!](http://www.afterfeed.com/)?"" The father says ""No, son. I have a wife."""

"A guy walks into a bar Ouch."

"""Must you lick the knife?"" ""Sorry,force of habit"" I said ""Loads of people do it though, don't they?"" ""Yes, but not during surgery, Doctor"""

"Unfair fight. Housewife Holly Holm defeats Rousey with ironing skills... Because she layed her out and starched her ass."

"Judge: The defendant is claiming you're a nazi. Is this true? Lawyer: *flustered* er no fuhrer questions your honour *courtroom gasps*"

"I once had sex for an hour and 45 seconds. Thanks daylight savings."

"The Night's Watch opens a drinking establishment to attract new brothers. They call it the Crow Bar."

"I don't get why kids hate me... ... I mean the sex isn't that bad."

"Excuse me Ladies, but my eyes are up here."