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Joke of the Day

"This PS4 Pirate Simulator game is rubbish! Bringing your ship into harbour is a nightmare! I guess it's just a bad port."

"Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated."

"How did a mom figure out her daughter had hit puberty? She kept wetting the bed."

"I spent all day yesterday putting my old watches together to make a belt. When I finally finished I realized it was just a huge waste of time."

"Why do Java programmers wear glasses? because they can't C#"

"kids now have dating apps but back in my day we had to run through the city shirtless with a megaphone screaming ""why does no one want me"""

"what's the difference between BMW and a Porky Pine? The porky Pine has the prick on the outside."

"""I'm calling you because you're easy."" ""You're not even very good."" ""You're just the best I can do this late."" Dominos: ""Your order, Sir?"""

"Exchanging sexual favors for karma Humpvotes"

"""Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"""