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Joke of the Day

"I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones. I didn't make the cast."

"Honey you're like my GPS... I'd be lost without you."

"Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does."

"Why don't Boxers have sex before a fight? They don't like eachother"

"What do you call customers at Lidl? Lidl people."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person."

"I love the Olympics, but missing Dateline due to the Olympics sucks. One of these athletes better end up being a serial killer or something."

"What's the difference between a Trump and an athlete? Athletes know when to stop running."

"billy joel: we didn't start the fire detective: I haven't mentioned a fire billy joel: shit"

"Why do Germans make such good cars? To try and make up for the Holocaust."