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Joke of the Day

"Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does."

"Q: What did the Momma Buffalo say to her child as he left for school? A: Bison!"

"Why did the farmer take a milk bath? Because he's too tall for a milk shower."

"A guy noticed his friend was late for work... ""Where have you been?"" he asked. ""To my mother-in-law's burial."" ""Then why the scratches on your face?"" ""She kept resisting, that old fart."""

"This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club Which was weird, because I'd never met herbivore."

"Life's a bitch, Because if it was a slut, It would be easy."

"Ever since I became asexual I've found I have to repeat myself a lot. ... You're not getting it? Neither am I. ... Let me reiterate."

"Did you hear about the guy who killed the sphinx? i hear he's one bad-ass motherfucker..."

"Overheard a woman telling another woman ""It's $150 and she supplies all the turtles"" and whatever it is, I'm in."

"How much did the lawyer charge the prostitute to represent her in court? Nothing, he did her PRO BONER"