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Joke of the Day

"Why were all the gays winning poker in the 40's? Because they had to keep a straight face"

"What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself? One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan."

"What's the similarity between a blonde and a tornado? In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing but then she takes half your house"

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? he had a reptile dysfunction..."

"Tower: Cannot read you say again! Pilot: Again!"

"Women need to learn how to use Snapchat. It's only for sexting, I don't want to see pictures of your feet or your new perm."

"Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now"

"I can't sleep; so I went out & got 2 donuts, glued them to my eyes, climbed up a tree & pretended I'm an owl."

"How can you tell if your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Why did the little Dutch boy get kicked out of the gay bar? He kept putting his finger in the dikes."