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Joke of the Day

"Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now"

"I've always wondered what periods were like... Could someone give me a demenstruation"

"Me and my girlfriend... Me and my girlfriend watched 6 DVDs back to back last night, fortunately I was the one facing the TV!"

"""Who let the dogs out?!"" - Pavlov getting angry"

"When I see a ""How am I driving?"" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence"

"I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel... We really opened a can of wormholes."

"Q: Where does a General keep his armies? A: In his sleevies."

"What is an adulterers favorite snack? Cheetos."

"Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese."

"What is the worst thing a Jewish father can buy for his daughter? An easy bake oven!"