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Joke of the Day

"Why did the little Dutch boy get kicked out of the gay bar? He kept putting his finger in the dikes."

"Do hesitant people order sparagus?"

"What do a Texas tornado and an Oklahoma divorce have in common? Either way someone's losing a trailer."

"Why did Toby rape a girl? He couldn't Turner on"

"If people are talking about you behind your back, then just Fart"

"""Your resume says weaknesses: hide & seek"" Yeah ""Can you demonstrate?"" Sure, count to 10 *Counts to 10 & opens eyes* *I'm literally on fire*"

"Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. If my husband doesn't give me a divorce as a gift I'm telling his girlfriend."

"Making jokes on Twitter is a lot like making jokes in real life. Except without the frightened faces of strangers on buses"

"Where do blind parrots go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter!"

"I told my girlfriend I could use a little pussy She said ""me too, mine's as big as a house."" Credit: Predator (1987)"