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Joke of the Day

"Women need to learn how to use Snapchat. It's only for sexting, I don't want to see pictures of your feet or your new perm."

"Star Wars Joke... What did Obi-Wan Kenobi tel Luke Skywalker at the brothel? ""Luke! May the whores be with you!"""

"Did you hear about the guy who killed the sphinx? i hear he's one bad-ass motherfucker..."

"Son, we don't play Hungry Hungry Hippos for ""fun."" We play it to learn how friends turn on each other in moments of desperation and scarcity"

"My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat."

"I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old"

"So a blind man walks into a bar... And a table And a chair."

"A handsome man came up to me today & said ""Hi what's your name?"" I said ""You on Twitter?"" He said ""No"" We're getting married on Monday!"

"Why did Hitler have a vitamin C deficiency? He hated juice."

"I just got rear ended... ...and as I got out of the car, without even realizing how funny it was, I said ""That's a pain in the ass"" True story."