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Joke of the Day

"Why would no one listen to the percussion section? Because they couldn't drum up enough support."

"We waste our entire youth to obtain wealth and later on our entire wealth to obtain youth."

"How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist? Ask him/her to pronounce unionized Edit: Gets 3000+ upvotes, Karma remains at 20..."

"I just returned from a concert put on by the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra... ... ... Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared."

"So two men walk into a bar... Which is weird. You'd think the second one would have noticed it!"

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized."

"Do chemistry jokes do well here? I'm not sure if I'll get a reaction."

"What are the three rules of being a plumber? Hot on left; cold on right. Shit runs downhill. Never, ever, put your tools in your mouth."

"Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete? The old one was made of steal."

"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave her one."