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Joke of the Day
"Why would no one listen to the percussion section? Because they couldn't drum up enough support."
Next Joke
"""Mommy does Barbie come with Ken?"" ""No sweetie, Barbie comes with GI Joe, she just fakes it with Ken"""
"What do you call a truthful piece of paper? Fax."
"For sale: car. Does not stop. You will have to jump in as I jump out. I have been driving this car for three years. Please help me"
"What do you need to make a crystal salad? Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice"
"What's green and has four wheels? A turtle. I was lying about the wheels"
"did you know they are planning a sequel to fifty shades of grey in which both leads are played by men? they are gonna call it fifty shades of gay"
"If you can't afford healthcare... Go to an airport. They give free x-rays and mammograms, and if you mention al-Qaeda, they'll throw in a free colonoscopy too!"
"I'm sorry, everyone who wrote stay cool in my yearbooks"
"My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says ""We need to talk""."