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Joke of the Day

"did you know they are planning a sequel to fifty shades of grey in which both leads are played by men? they are gonna call it fifty shades of gay"

"The doctor said I may have a strained abdominal muscle which is cool because that means I have an abdominal muscle."

"Remember when Michael Jackson hung his baby off that balcony as a goof? He's dead now."

"It's all because of a misunderstanding. Jared told his buddies that he was going off the Subway diet and he asked them what he should eat. They said to have a Little Debbie."

"I'm on hold. My call is important to them."

"I went to an art contest recently... It ended in a draw."

"I've got a friend whose nickname is 'shagger'. You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it."

"How did the gangster die below the Empire State Building? Someone dropped a dime on him."

"Why should you avoid people dressed as celery? They could be stalking you!"

"I bought my girlfriend a big helium balloon for her birthday it didn't go down very well."