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Joke of the Day
"I have boobs & a calculator. Math is irrelevant."
Next Joke
"If you go to an animal shelter and ask for a cat, they get really upset if you play them like a guitar and scream ROCK YOU LIKE A FURRICANE."
"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferarri."
"What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified? He gets a little cross."
"Why did Night fall? Because Day tripped him."
"A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her ""Allison."" I write, ""Marry me, Allison,"" in the sand and hide. And now we wait."
"The closest I've come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat."
"Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels."
"Trying to argue with someone over text is like being Italian and trying to talk with handcuffs on"
"This man says to his friend"" I stopped driving 10 years ago. Now my wife drives and I just sit there and hold the wheel."""