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Joke of the Day

"If you go to an animal shelter and ask for a cat, they get really upset if you play them like a guitar and scream ROCK YOU LIKE A FURRICANE."

"My psychiatrist asked me how I became so patient. I told him I was waiting on Half Life 3 to come out."

"When in doubt, mumble."

"What did the Indian guy say to his mother before he left for his nearest city? ""Mumbai"""

"I was just knocked off my bike by a stationary truck. The driver gave me a couple of sketch pads and some really cool pens to apologise."

"Mexican Olympics Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team? Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US."

"How can you find the blind guy at a nudist colony? It's not hard"

"What did Ghandi say when he was in the toilet? ""I'm having a movement"""

"People need to quit hating on women that breastfeed in public. I'm allowed to raise my cat however I want."

"What do you do if you break your arm in two places? Don't go back to those two places."