32537

Joke of the Day

"Fucked this girl for an hour and 45 seconds a while ago. Thanks daylight savings"

"""What's your name?"" ""Dave Fucking Smith"" ""Do you have Tourette's, Dave?"" ""No, but the vicar at my christening did."""

"Nothing beats a woman with a great voice. Except Chris Brown."

"I haven't been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn't lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I've told to cops."

"An old man was sitting there trying to dook 1 out... His dooker was all empty, void of a duke. As he, sat there and peed, shat free, he re,alized, that he, was, ""squeezin for no reason"""

"How to seduce a fat person? Piece of cake"

"I'm on a whiskey diet... I've lost three days already."

"The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend"

"A man went into his local pharmacy to purchase condoms. After ringing his item up the cashier asked, ""Would you like a bag?"" The man responded, ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"My favorite jokes are the short ones that make me laugh. Here's a short one that I hope makes you laugh. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? - You look for FRESH PRINTS!!"