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Joke of the Day

"Legend say, Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice... Donald Trump tried to count to 10 and got stuck in a paper bag."

"I think I'm going to give away my old Dyson vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust."

"I saw two blokes having a fight... I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife!"" You should have seen how fucking fast they both ran off."

"Guy walks into a DR's office with a duck on his head... Duck says ""Hey Doc an you get this guy off my ass"""

"I don't care how old I am, I will see Finding Dory."

"Just farted in my cat's face. That's what we call a power move, gentlemen."

"What is Trump's favorite animated movie? WALL-E"

"I like my women like I like my onion rings. Battered."

"What sound does a Chinese cat make? Mao"

"I don't think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her"