57601

Joke of the Day

"I haven't been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn't lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I've told to cops."

"why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 ATE 9."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - East German Swim Team Barbie ...a Barbie head on a Ken doll"

"Papa Bear: I wish he'd Mackle more. Mama Bear: I wish he'd Mackle less. Baby Bear: I tore the throat out of a girl who stole our porridge."

"Starting to believe that your family tree must've been cactus."

"People keep comparing Trump to Hitler, but that is just not true. I mean, Hitler could paint."

"What do you call a Mexican detective? Sherlock, homes"

"Having problems with my low-libido S.O., but last night she finally took one for the team! But when she got home she was completely exhausted and still didn't want to have sex with me."

"*The Terminator opens a fortune cookie. ""It is ok to kill many people. Many killings are coming your way."" John: I know it doesn't say that."

"How did the guy with a foot fetish ruin his date with an amputee? He got off on the wrong foot"