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Joke of the Day

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult."

"If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently."

"What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy? When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, ""Merci!""."

"I signed a petition to end women's suffering yesterday. Oops. Sorry: autocorrect. *suffrage."

"What do you call a cow masturbating? Beef stroganoff."

"Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill... ...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly."

"I once slowly roasted a Marshmallow over fire until the Michelin Man gave me some free tires."

"What's the difference between a job and a wife? After 10 years, a job still sucks!"

"I heard about this one place with red signs that thanked drivers for slowing down... ...but when I drove by, everything was blue."

"Why did the angry ant fall off the toilet seat? Because it was pissed off."