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Joke of the Day

"Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill... ...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly."

"Potassium and Oxygen went on a date. It was OK."

"I'm starting my own Build-a-Bear type place except the kids make toys for other kids and it's in China."

"Salesman: Roll up roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here's got room in their houses for a mammoth."

"Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost? It had a nervous breakdown."

"Have you heard about this? It's a pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing."

"Our FedEx guy keeps delivering diapers & formula but I didn't order any. And he cries when he holds the baby. Weird, huh?"

"Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, ""I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."""

"Why was the violist standing outside the door? He didn't know when to come in"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE! AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!"