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Joke of the Day

"The 2nd grade teacher asked parents to donate supplies for tie dye tshirt day but I'm not sure I can come up with that much weed by Friday."

"I feel so bad for all these women that give me their phone numbers and when I call the line has been disconnected This economy is ruthless."

"___________________________________ With all the bad jokes going around, I had to draw the line somewhere."

"playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as ""options."""

"Jews where do you send a jew with ADD...... wait for it... A concentration camp"

"Me have great grammar... Me learnt everything I know from Sesame Street!"

"Don't think you're immune. We're all just a whim away from singing ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight."" Yes, a whim away...a whim away...a whim away."

"how many hipsters does it take to put in a lightbulb? its a realy obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"""There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU."" And other inspirational things I say to my kids when we're in public."

"2 men walk into a bar... You would think one of them saw it"