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Joke of the Day

"A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help I'm doing my part!"

"[I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do"

"An illegal immigrant and a pedophile got into a fight... It was the real life version of Alien vs Predator"

"Fun Octopus Facts When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his dick and throws it at the female, so she can inseminate herself. He then grows a new dick. What a legend. ""Here, go fuck yourself."""

"Whats long brown and sticky? A stick"

"Whenever people say they're willing to do ""whatever it takes"" to ""make it in Hollywood"" they never mean ""patiently work on their craft""."

"Why won't men perform oral on women the morning after sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Why should you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.."

"What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork."

"A guy with a huge cock enters a bar... He has to call the fire department to get it off."