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Joke of the Day
"Whats long brown and sticky? A stick"
Next Joke
"Me: The bathroom Wife: What? Me: I was about to get off the couch and just wanted to stop you before you asked where I was going."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic girl that developed bulimia? She ate a big meal then went to the bathroom and stuck her thumb up her ass."
"Q: How do you make five pounds of fat look good? A: Put a nipple on it."
"How to Talk to Women Who Are Inside an MRI Tube"
"[Justice League HQ] SUPERMAN: Looks like Batman is hungry tonight MOTHMAN: [visibly sweating] I think I'll just fight daytime crimes"
"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1..... Because they are very efficient, but not very funny. Courtesy of my brother /u/twinhawk"
"Spend hours getting screaming baby to sleep. Check on sleeping baby. Can't hear breathing...prod sleeping baby Repeat"
"Simba was walking too slow... So I told him to Mufasa."
"Voldemort's parents took the ""I got your nose"" game a little to seriously."