201750

Joke of the Day

"Why should you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.."

"If there is a difference between a minor inconvenience and the end of the fucking world, you'd never know if from my histrionics."

"You know what I hate? Indian givers... ..no wait, I take that back."

"""Hey, did you hear about the blonde that lost over 85% of her intelligence?"" ""No, actually. How'd it happen?"" ""I dunno, but I hear that it happened at around the same time her husband died."""

"So. I'm gonna tell you guys a little about my sex life."

"How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin? They use a Milwaukee-Talkie"

"What does Pittsburgh have in common with Peter Pan? The Pirates always lose."

"""Knock Knock"" ""Whos there?"" ""From"" ""From who?"" ""Its pronounced, From *whom*!"" Sorry for bad joke, please leave your criticism! I need it to make funnier jokes! P.S. its not!"

"Just so we're all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can't make a cell phone call from my basement."

"David Bowie died at 69, Alan Rickman died at 69... ... Donald Trump is 69. We are all crossing our fingers."