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Joke of the Day

"I buy bags of Halloween candy and boxes of razor blazes just to see the look on the cashier's face."

"Standing closer to me in line right up my ass will not make it go faster. Back the fuck up you faggott"

"Man comes running in the door at home all excited. ""Honey, pack your bags! I won the lottery"" she asks ""should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"" I don't care. Just get the fuck out."

"What did Nazis do to kids with ADHD/ADD? They sent them to concentration camps."

"Boss: Did you bring the reports? Me: Hold on. *reaches into pockets and pulls out two middle fingers* Boss: I resign. You're the boss now."

"""I was born in California............ ""I was born in California."" ""Which part?"" ""All of me."""

"What did the former governor of California say after he helped the old lady cross the street? I'm Arnold to assist you."

"If a douchebag bungee jumps is it called a Bro-Yo?"

"I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road. I'm so jealous."

"Clothes make the man. Indonesian children make the clothes."