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Joke of the Day

"Man comes running in the door at home all excited. ""Honey, pack your bags! I won the lottery"" she asks ""should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"" I don't care. Just get the fuck out."

Next Joke
 
"Usain Bolt isn't allowed near any elementary schools. The speed limit is only 40 kph!"
"Admit it, at some point in your life, you stuck a ball up your shirt and pretended you were pregnant."
"Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area."
"A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand... and says, ""Make me one with everything."""
"*Do not consume if seal is broken* I've just gone through this whole box of animal crackers and haven't found one seal."
"Just stirred my coffee with a fork if any of you guys are looking for a new bad boy to join your crew."
"I like my coffee how I like my women.... Ground up and in the freezer. Edit - happy Halloween!"
"How Do You Call 5 Black People Having Sex? Threesome."
"KNOCK KNOCK... Who's there? Kicks! Kicks who? Kicks Ronda Rousey for the Knock out!"