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Joke of the Day

"What did the former governor of California say after he helped the old lady cross the street? I'm Arnold to assist you."

"What do you call a smart pig? Swinestein."

"Contrary to popular belief, the most common use for electrical tape is to cover up goth nipples."

"[first date] *Ok don't let her know you're a vampire* ""Would you like a mint?"" *reaches in pocket, pulls out SPF 5,000,000,000* ""Dammit"""

"Interesting how u totally lose track of ur age after 21. Nothing to look forward to until 31, when u can legally own a donkey in a bathtub."

"What does a white trash girl say after sex? Get off me, Dad. You're squishing my smokes."

"Why did the black man wear a suit to his vasectomy? If he was going to be Impotent he wanted to look impotent. (important)"

"Why hasn't Joe entered the race yet? He's just Biden his time."

"What do you call a group of transsexual surfers? The radical left."

"What do you get when you're agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac? You stay up all night wondering if there's a dog."