79430

Joke of the Day

"Standing closer to me in line right up my ass will not make it go faster. Back the fuck up you faggott"

"Who shot the sheriff in Jurassic park? DepuT- Rex..."

"Q: How do you say ""take a shit"" in Japanese? A: Shit-take Q: How do you say ""took a shit"" in Japanese? A: Shit-take-mashita"

"You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan."

"Sure, when a girl writes your name inside a heart it's ""cute"" But when -I- do it they call it ""narcissism"""

"""And why do you want to work at the aquarium?"" * imagines me with a mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours* I like fish"

"What's the difference between hardware and software? Hardware breaks if you*don't* maintain it."

"How do you stop an Armenian tank? You shoot the guys pushing it."

"FOX is adapting a mash-up of Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire and Are you smarter than a 5th grader for Bangladesh. They're calling it, Who Wants to Marry a 5th Grader"

"What did the guitar teacher say to the frustrated student? Now, don't fret about it!"