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Joke of the Day
"Why did Jesus die on the cross? He forgot the safe-word."
Next Joke
"You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets."
"If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave"
"I hate tacos Said no Juan ever."
"What do you call a bullying competition? A jerk-off"
"What's big and round and full of seamen? Your mom"
"What did Lincoln say on the last night of his life? ""Aw shit Mary, I need to go see a play tonight like I need a hole in the head..."""
"Matthew McMonaughey's Lincoln doesn't make left turns... It just goes all right, all right, all right."
"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey But I turned myself around"
"Padme: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who's not going to murder me. Anakin: You've chosen wisely."