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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bullying competition? A jerk-off"

"Anyone here know of Gaddafi? Probably not. He's pretty underground."

"I've got a new job in a biscuit factory. So far I've made a packet."

"The Muslim Who Dated An Ape Did you hear about the Muslim who was caught screwing an ape? He was stoned to death along with his haram bae."

"[Date] Me: You're a scientist? Him: Yeah M: You like chemistry? H: M: Wanna get in my genes? H: M: *slow winks* H: Are you having a stroke?"

"Today somebody called me a model! Well they said ""poster boy for birth control"", but I knew what they meant."

"I'm not sure what 'First World Problems' means so I tried to look it up on my phone but I can't get 3G service here and my life is horrible!"

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He comes once a year! :-)"

"There has been a rise in sheeple recently. Someone better tell the sheep shaggers to wear some protection."

"My neighbor just gave us a brand new dining set! I guess he was feeling particularly chairitable today."