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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an Irishman with a dangerous bacterial infection? A leperchaun! :D"
Next Joke
"I'm having a hard time believing Jesus was a carpenter. He was a miracle worker. You'd think he'd just wave his magic wand and POOF! Bench."
"""Pikachu, use astonish!"" *Leans into opponent's ear* ""Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."""
"Coworkers What's the difference between a brown nose and a shit head? Depth perception."
"My friend started calling the toilet the Jim instead of the John He said it sounds better when he tell people he goes to the Jim everyday."
"Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive"
"The worst part of locking your keys in your car What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car by the abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask to borrow a coat hanger"
"I made $350.05 sucking dick last night. Me: I made $350.05 sucking dick last night. Friend: Wow! Who gave you the nickel? Me: All of them..."
"What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms."
"Just got my invitation to Lady Gaga's wedding reception. I can choose between beef or chicken. Not for the meal, that's the dress code."