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Joke of the Day

"An Owl and a Squirrel are sitting in a tree watching a farmer mow the lawn.... ...The Owl says nothing because Owls can't talk, the Owl then eats the Squirrel because it's a bird of prey."

"Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"How do black geese call to white geese? HONKEY! HONKEY!"

"I think my niece has a burgeoning slip 'n slide addiction Once you go down one, it's just a slippery slope."

"Cop: Where were you at the time of the murder? Me: I'd trapped myself in a Tupperware container Cop: Damn, that's an air tight alibi"

"how much can't could a white girl can't even if a white girl literally could not even."

"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power"

"You go in for an interview for a Linux programming job... ...and you are asked for an example of your linux programming abilities, so you type into the terminal ""sudo apt-get JOB"""

"Whats up Cake? Muffin"

"There's a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the ""close this ad"" button."