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Joke of the Day

"My friend started calling the toilet the Jim instead of the John He said it sounds better when he tell people he goes to the Jim everyday."

"Never cry for an onion that doesn't deserve you."

"So if my girlfriend can have multiple orgasms, why can't I have multiple girlfriends?"

"Did you know you can use a condom twice? Just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it"

"There's three cop cars in the parking lot of my gym. This might be my last Tweet for a little while."

"Why is it so hard to convict horse rapists? Because sometimes neigh means yay."

"I'm jobless. I'm making a career out of it."

"A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries."

"What did the earthquake say to the tornado? It's not my fault."

"Nigeria's president is up for re-election. Good luck Jonathan!"