114750

Joke of the Day

"I'm having a hard time believing Jesus was a carpenter. He was a miracle worker. You'd think he'd just wave his magic wand and POOF! Bench."

"Where does Fred Weasley shop? Forever 21."

"My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream."

"What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat? Claude"

"Lawyers really aren't so bad, it's just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad."

"Me: What are the lyrics to every 80s sitcom I've ever seen Brain: Coming right up Me: Remember to pay that bill Brain: Nope"

"How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a very calm rabbit? The tame way."

"Got involved in an alcohol-related pyramid scheme... What a champaign."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art."

"I told someone my name and they said, ""That's unusual. You don't hear that every day."" Actually, I do."