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Joke of the Day

"When a band has Z's where S's should be in their name, I'm like, ""Woah, watch out! These bad boys aren't playing by society's rules."""

"I call my penis Valyrian Steel.... Because it slays pale, icy bitches and no one really knows how it works."

"Why don't black people lay in the sun? ...because it's 92.96 million miles away."

"How do you stop an Italian from talking? Cut their hands off."

"I really want a sandwich, but I just don't have the time or energy to find a girlfriend right now....."

"What is stephen Hawking's favorite food? His shoulder."

"(bad joke) What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower? A toe-mat-o."

"Sad that at 36 I have yet to experience the dirty dancing lift. If it doesn't happen by 40 I'll just start running at random strangers."

"My father used to put snowballs in the blender and make great slushies Snowballs was a great cat"

"the hardest part of your wife going into labor is everyone interrupts the movie by asking questions"