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Joke of the Day

"*nose hairs growing out of control *buys tiny scissors *jam them in the eyes of whoever I catch staring at my nose hairs"

"Why didn't the kayak owner and yacht owner get along? They didn't have ships in common."

"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore Because she's the real headmaster"

"so two elderly grapes are talking then one of the grapes says, is it just me or are you looking a bit prune?"

"What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates? Mom & Dad"

"A man gets into an accident in which both his ring fingers are cut off. Needless to say, his wife was shocked."

"I've got a message for all you ""migratory ducks"" out there: If you're going to come to our country, learn some freaking English."

"What's an Afrikaner's favorite game? Apartheid-and-go-seek."

"A man walks into a bar. The impact gave him a concussion."

"How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? ""Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."""