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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican magician says he's going to make himself disappear on the count of three.. He says, uno.. Dos.. And then he vanished without a tres!"

Next Joke
 
"Kinda bored. Might shake things up by believing in Santa again."
"My voicemail message is just instructions on how to send a text message with brief pauses filled with heavy sighing."
"What do you call a phobia of machetes? Common sense"
"What's the difference between an oral, and rectal thermometer? The taste."
"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? because it didnt want to swim in the hot chocolate"
"Can somebody please hand me a knife? This fork just isn't cutting it."
"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said Are you going to help?' I said No, six should be enough.'"
"white ppl: omg lakeisha is such a ghetto name white ppl: here comes my child daffodil ginseng blueberry yogurt"
"[date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too."