9007

Joke of the Day

"A man gets into an accident in which both his ring fingers are cut off. Needless to say, his wife was shocked."

"Proof that road construction workers are lazy They're always just [milling](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavement_milling) about!"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear her seatbelt."

"I asked a chinese girl for her number... She replied ""sex! sex! sex!...Freeee sex tonight!"" I said ""wow"", then her friend said ""She means 6663629"""

"Donald Trump is a Mac user... He's not a fan of PC culture"

"STOP HONKING! IF I DRIVE ANY FASTER THE TINY LIZARD THAT HITCHED A RIDE ON MY HOOD IS GONNA FALL TO HIS DEATH. HAVE SOME COMPASSION, PEOPLE."

"If you're scared of butter... use cream."

"Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night? Because her hips won't lie."

"Some people are named after where they were conceived. For example Brooklyn, Paris... My friend Ally doesn't agree."

"I found a 1,700 yard rock the other day.... It was a real milestone."