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Joke of the Day

"I've got a message for all you ""migratory ducks"" out there: If you're going to come to our country, learn some freaking English."

"How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? ""What kind of answer did you have in mind?"" Two one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget."

"Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal President."

"* changes bedsheets, 14 socks fall out * Hmmm... * apologizes to the dryer *"

"The rape game... --Do you want to play the rape game? --No! --That's the spirit..."

"If it ain't broke, my children haven't touched it yet."

"""Say hello to my little friend"" Great Movie Quote. Terrible bedroom talk."

"Trump's inauguration is like his hands: Tiny in comparison."

"What did a confused Mexican alphabet say? K"

"Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish..."