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Joke of the Day
"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore Because she's the real headmaster"
Next Joke
"I was on a date with a girl and she said ""did you notice my finger nails?"" And I was like ""yes"" and she was like ""well I have no arms"""
"Zeroing a scale is a tare-able decision . . . I'm sorry"
"Did you hear about the scottish drag queen? He wore pants."
"What did they call Fireman Sam after he retired? ""That fat, selfish faggot that chose the pension over saving our lives."""
"Gin is the Ionian mode of liquors... it will always resolve with tonic."
"I pulled a muscle trying to avoid my neighbor in the grocery store."
"Vampire 1: ""I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died."" Vampire 2: ""How awful!"" Vampire 1: ""Yes. Fortunately I found some in the neck of time."""
"What do you get when you make a scarf out of a cat? A Neko."
"What's long and hard and makes women groan? An ironing board."