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Joke of the Day

"The cancellation of the Golden Girls must have been devastating to the shoulder pad industry."

"I always make a point to add a 'man' when I say thanks to the pizza delivery guy, so he knows I used to smoke weed and shit."

"Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account? Her balance was outstanding."

"So I saw my mother-in-law getting beaten up by six guys ""Aren't you going to do something?"" My wife asked. ""Nah, six should be enough."" (Les Dawson)"

"I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled ""come on"" and then they tried harder."

"They say Curiosity killed the cat Why there was a cat on Mars we'll never know."

"[Date] Her: *giggles* whoops you got a hair right there Me (nervous she's trying to clone me): give it back"

"My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids. But I laugh more."

"When somebody said I could never be a ninja I replied, ""Shurikan"""

"What do you call a cow that can't make milk? An udder failure!"