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Joke of the Day

"I've been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone."

"For a final paper, I was assigned to write 3000 words So I put 3 pictures in there."

"Why don't communists ever learn? Because there are no classes."

"GF: ""Call me ASAP, it's an emergency!"" Me: ""Hi ASAP, it's an emergency!"""

"Officer: You drinking? Me: You buying? Oh how we laughed and laughed.... PS: I need bail money."

"How do boats apologise? S**oar**ry!"

"What's the difference between choking sex and necrophilia? About 5 minutes"

"why pay kristen stewart millions of dollars when a cardboard cutout of kristen stewart will give the exact same performance for free"

"What do you call a hillbilly giraffe that lives in a trailer and drinks beer all day? A rednnnnnneeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkk."

"You know what's really great about being a narcissist? Me."