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Joke of the Day

"My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!"

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"What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat? The wheelchair..."
"Did you hear about the suspect who's alibi was that he was at a restaurant? Well the restaurant Carraba-rated his story."
"The elephant asked the camel: ""Why do you have your breasts on your back?"" The camel, clearly irritated, replies: ""What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face."""
"Good one liner You have a striking face.....how many times has it been struck?"
"What is a firefighter's favorite video game console? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U HINT: Say it outloud"
"I love hearing peoples' stories... ...I'm always chasing tale."
"When the human cannonball submitted his two week notice the ringmaster had trouble finding another man of his caliber."
"""I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins."" - my 4yo after I explained taxes"
"I wish crappy people weren't allowed to like my favorite band."