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Joke of the Day

"Do seagulls ever wake up in the morning and take a moment to gather their thoughts, or do they just go straight into seagull stuff?"

"It's 'before' not 'B4'... We don't speak Bingo here..."

"My girlfriend treats me like I'm God She ignores my existence and doesn't ever speak to me."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amory ! Amory who ? Amory Christmas and a Happy New Year !"

"If Donald Trump becomes President... there will be hell toupee."

"The scariest punchline to a long-running joke: ""Welcome to the Oval Office, President Trump!"""

"Where do stoners keep their money? In a joint account"

"elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like ""lmao for sure, g'night"""

"I'm reading this amazing novel called ""Dictionary"", I'm only halfway through but I'm pretty sure the Zebra did it...."

"next time you feel depressed with yourself, remember that you're about 70% water & thats cool af"