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Joke of the Day
"The scariest punchline to a long-running joke: ""Welcome to the Oval Office, President Trump!"""
Next Joke
"Shouldn't you pet him first? Two guys are in a park and see a dog licking it's nuts. First Guy: ""Damn I wish I could do that"" Second Guy: ""Shouldn't you pet him first?"""
"learning from mistakes is for people who recognise that they make mistakes. i dont give a shit"
"Have you ever been to a store that only sells lamps? I've heard it's pretty lit."
"Is Google a he or a she? A she, no doubt, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas. (no offence to ladies)"
"A pirate is never late.... (x-post from Funny) A pirate is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to. Although admittedly drunk, on fire and uninvited."
"Several ducks were found dead in a playground. Police are suspecting fowl play."
"What has no eyes and four legs? No idea."
"Have you heard the joke about the deaf guy? He hasn't."
"[Ventriloquist Mafia] ""Oh we have ways of making people talk."""