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Joke of the Day

"elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like ""lmao for sure, g'night"""

"A quick Mel Gibson joke. If Mel Gibson directed a popular 90's show starring Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt: ""Mad about Jew"""

"They say the camera adds ten pounds so my girlfriend only needs to lose about four or five cameras before bikini season."

"Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL"

"I think my girlfriend might have an eating disorder I threw her onto the bed last night and my dog jumped up to retrieve her"

"The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck."

"I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision."

"Recently developed melanoma on my cheek, so I quickly went to the dermatologist. Turns out I just fell asleep on a chocolate chip."

"an unfaithful man what does an unfaithful man say to his wife after having sex? I'll be home in half an hour."

"I CAN'T STAND BLACK GIRLS WITH BLONDE HAIR . LOOKING LIKE A DAMN DURACELL BATTERY"