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Joke of the Day

"I have a pet dog who can speak. Today I walked in to my house, and he was right there waiting for me. I asked him, ""Hai Buddy, How was your day ?"" And he goes: "" rrrrRough """

"Beware the SATA of March Much faster than the IDEs"

"How many planets are there in the solar system? There used to be nine, then there was eight and when I'm done with Uranus there'll be seven."

"If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?"

"Did you hear Prince's sister is inheriting his estate? There's just one problem... She's just like their mother, so she's never satisfied."

"What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady? Darth Vader probably gets high fived"

"Whenever I have sex, my eyes water and I find it hard to breathe... The doctor says its the mace."

"A snowman and a snow-woman had a child... ...it had its mother's ice."

"Your honor, if you watch the tape in reverse you can clearly see the officer planting the evidence in my vehicle."

"Hey girl, are you magnesium iron silicate hydroxide? Because you'll be cummingtonite"