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Joke of the Day

"How many planets are there in the solar system? There used to be nine, then there was eight and when I'm done with Uranus there'll be seven."

"What do you call a Jamaican that wears glasses? Rasta-four-eyes!"

"My balls are so big that my sac only holds one. The second one? You're standing on it."

"Capitalization... Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"My goal weight: To not look like a ""before"" picture."

"Idea: A Transformers movie that can transform into a much better movie."

"My wife asked if I ever think about someone else during sex... ""Nope, just myself."""

"Ketchup bottle farts are just as funny as people farts."

"What was special about Three-Eyed Suzie? She had no legs."

"What do you call the boner of a necrophiliac? Mourning wood"