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Joke of the Day

"Crazy that we could end poverty by having an airplane drop thousands of inspirational quotes from Facebook on a 3rd world village."

"So Apple wants to diversify their company... They should just press the home button three times."

"What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and i don't care."

"Did you hear about the guy who had to leave his position to become a manager? He was fired up"

"Just like Jesus joke (NSFW) Came up with this: If I were gay and had sex with a jewish guy I'd be just like Jesus. Because I came into Jerusalem ridding on an ass."

"[the noise of everyone talking at a party randomly goes silent] ME: i call hot dogs meat pickles"

"Me: Just so you know, I'm DTF right now. Wife: I don't know what ""DTF"" means. Me: Take a guess. Wife: (pause) Definitely Too Fat?"

"""What?""- pothead owl"

"I think Australians are obsessed with true information. They keep telling me to ""get fact""."

"Why do Feminists lay down during sex? They can't *stand* seeing a man have a good time."