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Joke of the Day

"Chef: What kind of bread would you like? We have wheat, rye, white... Me: Black bread. Chef: We don't have that. Me: Racist."

"Apparently I've switched to a mobile carrier named ""Searching..."""

"I love you A man had 'I love you' tattooed on his dick. When he came home, he proudly showed his wife, who said ""there you go again, trying to put words into my mouth"""

"What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries? A one trip pony :D"

"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like 'Stabbyrabbit' or 'Weaponrat'"

"[NSFW] How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck its dick"

"I gotta stop the filthy double entendre jokes But it's so, so hard"

"What do you call it when a stripper works for free? Pro Boner."

"Aspirin Before climbing into bed, a man sets down a glass of water and an aspirin on his wife's bedside table. ""What's this for? I don't have a headache"" she says. ""Good. Let's fuck."""