30629

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries? A one trip pony :D"

"I think I'm allergic to alcohol... After about 10-12 beers, I throw up. It's the damndest thing!"

"How are Jews and children similar? They both don't like to take showers."

"Have any of you realized that the self checkout has the sexiest cashier's?"

"What do you call a woman that tries to force you into commitment? A booby trap"

"Why does my mustard bottle insist on peeing in my sandwich before dispensing my mustard?"

"COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good"

"Well quit blocking my knife if you don't like being stabbed in the hands."

"What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo"

"Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels."