30428

Joke of the Day

"Oral B is sponsoring tonight's NASCAR race. That seems like an odd choice for a sponsorship, considering most NASCAR fans don't even have teeth."

"I bought my friend an elephant for her room... She said ""Thanks!"" I told her ""Don't mention it."""

"Horse walks into a bar... ..Barman: ""Why the long face?"""

"Just think about this: Jeff Goldblum is someone's uncle. Jeff Goldblum goes to someone's house for holidays and is Jeff Goldblum."

"How can you tell that truckers like nuts? They always have pecans! (Read aloud)"

"What do you call a black guy on the moon? An Astronaut."

"Have you heard of McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it."

"A man walks up to a prostitute and propositions her for sex... She says to the man: ""Sorry, but I'm clothed for the day."""

"Nothing makes sex more awkward than realizing your kid is awake... and standing outside your door... and playing the harmonica."

"My parents are in town and said they'd be at my house in ten minutes, and I'm wondering if that's enough time to build a moat."