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Joke of the Day

"My parents are in town and said they'd be at my house in ten minutes, and I'm wondering if that's enough time to build a moat."

"I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Canadian customs and shouted ""Why y'all checkin' me?! Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"""

"BARISTA: Would you like to try our new special Peruvian blend? It's sm- ME: I'm just trying to stay awake and not punch anyone."

"what do you call a cheap circumsion A rip off"

"[China] ""You have to get good grades"" KID: But it's so hard! ""We're Can-tonese not Cant-tonese"" KID: You gotta admit that's a bit confusing"

"Two old ladies sitting on a park bench.. Two old ladies sitting on a park bench, a streaker ran by. One of them had a stroke, the other just couldn't reach."

"I've finally decided to do something about my weight ... lie."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I might vote for it."

"I've got a message for all you ""migratory ducks"" out there: If you're going to come to our country, learn some freaking English."

"My fortune cookie reads ""I peed in your fried rice"" and it's hand written..."